Versatile Blogger Award! #awwwwshucks

My very kind and supportive new interweb buddy, Ms. Emily Skinner who writes the Ah-mahzing blog My Journey Through Thick and Thin has nominated little ‘ol me for a Versatile Blogger Award! This award is given by bloggers to bloggers who deem certain blogs or specific posts as noteworthy. More about the Versatile blogger award here.

I am honored to receive this award considering I have only written 7 (now 8) posts thus far and I feel as though it’s way too early in the game for me to be getting any such praise but those who know me know I’ll certainly take it! Holla!

One of the rules after receiving this award is to tell my nominator 7 things about myself so why not share this with all of you as well? Ok, here goes nothing.

1. When I was in the second grade, I made up a dance to the Lion King’s “I just can’t wait to be king”. I wore the same overalls and flower hat (think Blossum) whenever I would perform said dance in front of family and friends. My aunt still talks about this little performance to this day.

2. I did my undergrad at the University of Michigan and will forever bleed maize and blue. My siblings went to Ohio State. I disown them one day a year when our alma maters play each other in football. It’s ugly. And awesome.

3. I used to keep a diary in high school  but was so embarrassed by my terrible writing that I threw it out. I started a journal a few years ago and also get embarrassed when I read those. I guess by having an internet audience I create what I think is much more digestible bits of writing.

4. My partner is a poet and I an super jealous of his mad skills.

5. I talk to myself when I’m alone, often “rehearsing” upcoming conversations, especially if they involve confrontations.

6. Since the invention of e-books I’ve been able to get away with my obsession for trashy romance novels in public.

7. I tried to measure the length of my daughter’s eyelashes when she fell asleep in my arms the other day.

Another rule of the VBA’s is to nominate 15 blogs/bloggers I have recently discovered for follow regularly. I would say I probably have quite the mix of blogs that interest me, particularly female/feminist writers and people who make desserts.  So here goes!

1. blue milk

2. The Interesting Existence of Danez Smith

3. The Triple Dish

4. Eric Mata Poems

5. Kicks + Flutters

6. Tenderloin Textiles

7. Chocolate Covered Katie

8. Blooming on Bainbridge

9. Six Sisters’ Stuff

10. New Nostalgia

11. Frugal Girls

12. Navigating the Mothership

13. Baby Making Machine

14. Women In Student Affairs

15. Crunk Feminist Collective

Well. That was a lot of work but well worth it! Be sure to nominate any fellow bloggers in your life too!

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#projectunfluff

I’m sitting at my desk at work staring at a bright, green, granny smith apple and thinking to myself “how did I get here?”. Just a month ago that apple would have been a cookie. or a cupcake. or a mocha latte frapo crappo delight. After a poor physical with my new doctor and a serious sit down with myself, I’ve managed to snap into 2012 and take a look in the mirror. Not that I don’t like what I see, let’s get one thing straight, I’m a beautiful woman, mmkay? BUT, and it’s a big but(t) <– (see what I did there? always joking…) after years of poor eating habits and terrible decision-making, it occurred to me that I don’t even know if this is my true self I’m seeing. I don’t know what that self looks like because I’ve never made a conscious effort to make any real changes. No, let me re-phrase that: I’ve never made a conscious effort to do the things I’m supposed to do.

My relationship with food goes way back. At some point in my elementary school years, my mom went back to school for her masters and I became a latchkey kid. With that came a lot of convenience lunches and cafeteria garbage. That later turned into fast food while juggling a hectic school/colorguard/choir/part-time job schedule. Over time, I started to actually get that there are good foods and bad foods but I never really cared much for these “facts” or whatever (sarcastic much?). By the time I left college, I had gained 15 lbs…a year. And I just kept moving on. I fell in love (gained love weight), started my master’s degree, got married (gained then lost then gained stress weight), then had a baby (you get the idea).

And so here I sit, thinking back on all of the moments when I could have changed but didn’t. The gym memberships I payed for but never used. The bags of produce that went bad in my fridge while I went out for pizza/burgers/thai/ice cream/death on a stick. Oddly enough, I’m no longer angry or ashamed. I’m past all of that at this point. Now, I’m just scared. And suddenly very aware. So aware that when I “relapsed” yesterday (as in, had dinner at Wing Stop), I couldn’t stop thinking about the terrible things I was actively consuming. I dare say, it wasn’t all that enjoyable. I guess after a month of counting calories, limiting portions and cutting back on sugar/snacks/gunk, I’ve managed to retrain my brain and my body (talk about a churning post-wings stomach-apolyse!).

The funny thing is, I feel like deep down inside, there’s been this little vegetarian exercise enthusiast all along. When we go out to eat now, I’ve started going for the meatless options or a side salads and fruit instead of fries. Last week I made brussel sprouts and quinoa. My carnivorous husband, bless his heart, graciously takes a bite (sometimes) even though I know he’s secretly cringing on the inside. But I’m enjoying this, I feel like instead of being passive about what I eat, I make myself a part of it by really studying ingredients, looking up calories, analyzing recipes and finding ways to substitute the bad stuff for the good stuff. I even made granola at home the other day, people! I am grinding flax seeds and saving up for a personal smoothie blender for goodness sakes.

Over the weekend, I walked for several hours. HOURS. Instead of sitting on the couch, I cleaned the kitchen, baked and crawled on all fours with my 10 month old (who loved it, btw). I looked up healthy recipes and stored them on pintrest. I’m even trying to figure out what my schedule would look like when I incorporate Zumba into my week. what? who? huh? I know.

#projectunfluff is underway folks, there’s no way around it anymore. I plan on hopefully not ever looking back on a life once full of apathy towards nutrition and disdain for exercise. And I have a deadline. Children start making memories at age 2. I need to make like fluffy mami never even existed by May of 2013. Let’s get to it!